"The Last Touch" by Carol Lynn Pearson

The Last Touch

Their first touch at seventeen was in the park
And the moon was full
She was beautiful to him
And her hair was long and her eyes were blue
And her skin was warm
And she turned to him
And he thought he knew what love was

Another touch at twenty-two on their wedding night
And the stars were bright
She was beautiful to him
And her hair smelled sweet and her lips were full
And her skin was warm
And she turned to him
And he thought he knew what love was

And then again at twenty-five when the baby came
And the sun was high
She was beautiful to him
And her hair was damp and her fingers shook
And her skin was warm
And she turned to him
And he thought he knew what love was

Later on at fifty-four sitting on the porch
All the children gone
She was beautiful to him
And her hair was gray and her forehead lined
And her skin was warm
And she turned to him
And he thought he knew what love was

Their last touch at eighty-five was by her bed
And the moon was full
She was beautiful to him
And her hair was thin and her eyes were closed
And her skin was cold
And she turned to him
And he knew that he knew what love was

After sixty eight years of laughter and tears
He knew that he knew what love was.

Carol Lynn Pearson 

Winter is still here

For now, I'll appreciate the beauty that winter offers.

Garden gates

I'm looking forward to spring.

What I'm craving

I've been on a modified bodybuilding program for a week, and what I'm craving surprises me. I don't miss the sweet stuff. Instead, I miss eating cheese and artisan white bread. Sharp cheddar, brie, Swiss....sourdough, baguettes, rye....sigh....

Yay for romance!

Alannah's story excerpt 9

     A carriage arrived outside the cottage. Alannah turned to Mary. “What’s this?”

     “When I was at your parents’ mansion earlier, getting your dress, I told them you’d been found and you were preparing to be reunited with them. They told me they’d send a carriage for you.”

     A sudden longing to be home washed over Alannah, and she rushed out to the carriage. Mary quickly followed.

    

     At her home, Alannah and Mary were escorted immediately to the great hall where her parents were waiting. They rushed over to hug her when she entered the room. She told them the story about her disappearance that she and Mary had agreed on, and they accepted it. Sir Jeremy Moore was the obvious hero of the story, and her parents sent a messenger to his home with an invitation to dinner the next evening.

     He sent a message back that evening accepting the dinner invitation and formally asking Alannah's father for her hand in marriage. A very tired messenger returned to Jeremy's house to inform Jeremy that he had Lord Barry's blessing on the marriage.

     Alannah dropped into a bed for the first time in six weeks and slept late the next day after weeks of hunger, discomfort, and sleep-deprivation. When she woke up, Mary gave her a light breakfast and started preparing her for the upcoming dinner, which had turned into an engagement party.

     Outside her window, Alannah watched guests arriving, and realized her father had invited as many people as he could fit in the dining hall. Mary told her she would not be allowed to enter the dining hall until her father made a brief announcement to his guests about her kidnapping, rescue, and safe return by Sir Jeremy Moore.

     Jeremy was seated at a small table with her parents in the front of the room when she entered. All the guests stood up as she took her place next to Jeremy. Then everyone sat down, except for her father. He announced that Sir Jeremy Moore had asked him for Alannah's hand in marriage and that he had given Jeremy his permission and blessing.

     To honor her, Jeremy stood, walked around the table, and knelt in front of Alannah. "Alannah Barry, with your father's permission and blessing, I ask you for your hand in marriage. Will you be my wife?"

     "Sir Jeremy Moore, I give you my hand in marriage and would be honored to be your wife."

     The room erupted in cheers and applause as he took his seat. Servants carried food in on large platters. Her thoughts returned to the conversation she'd had with Mary when she had wondered if Jeremy cared for her. "All will turn out as it should, even if there are some rough patches along the way."

     She looked up to see a white dove land on a window ledge outside the dining room. Jeremy noticed it too, and they shared a moment of unspoken understanding as the world around them seemed to slip away for a moment.

Alannah's story excerpt 8

     Alannah’s eyes drifted shut as darkness closed in around her. She’d almost given into the nothingness when the pain of human transformation overtook her consciousness.

     To Jeremy's credit, he did not drop her when her body lengthened and grew heavier. He held her close as feathers became soft warm skin, and blond hair cascaded down over his arms. When the burning stopped, she was being held against him in a strong embrace. Her body was whole and healed from the injuries she'd sustained as a bird. Mary's words about breaking the curse by sacrificing herself for the man she loved echoed through her mind.

     Heat rose to her cheeks when she became aware of the position she was in. Jeremy set her gently on her feet, eyes averted, and turned his back to her while he retrieved his shirt from the hook he'd hung it on the night before. He stood facing the back wall, and held his shirt in the air above his head.

     Alannah ran up behind him, grabbed the shirt, and pulled it over her head. It barely brushed the middle of her thighs. Frustration washed over her. I can't leave the barn dressed like this!

    Jeremy turned around slowly, and her concerns about leaving the barn melted under his intense expression. Once again, time seemed to stop as they stared at each other. The waves of energy rippling between them made her breath catch in her throat.

     He took several quick steps toward her, catching her up in his arms as they collided. With one hand, he cupped the back of her head, and ran his thumb along her jaw line. He pulled her closer and his breath softly brushed her cheek. Then his warm lips were on hers in a sweet intimate kiss. Her response was instinctive as she kissed him back. He deepened the kiss, letting go of his usual self-restraint. The energy passing between them started to wrap around them, nearly drowning her in its intensity. Jeremy groaned and pulled away from her. “Forgive me. I shouldn’t have been so bold…it’s just that I couldn’t…I’m sorry…” He broke off, apparently tongue-tied.

     She grinned and looked down. “I’m not complaining.”

     He grasped both her hands, his eyes searching hers. “You turned into a bird and sacrificed yourself to save me. You could have died—why did you do it?”

     I have to tell him the truth. She looked down. Her voice was barely audible as she answered. “Because I love you.”

      Jeremy fell to one knee in the straw on the floor, still holding her hands. “Alannah Barry, will you marry me?"

     She could not speak for a moment. Finally, her voice returned. "Yes, I would love to marry you, Sir Jeremy Moore."

     He smiled, stood up, and pulled her in for another kiss when Isaac groaned from his place in the horse manure on the floor. Jeremy frowned and turned to look in his direction. Isaac’s eyelids fluttered briefly before his head flopped to the side, and he was still again.

     Jeremy grabbed a clean blanket from the shelf. “I’ll take you home. You won’t be safe if Isaac sees you.”

     She gave him a grateful smile and wrapped up in the blanket. "Can you take me to Mary's cottage instead of my house? I don’t want my parents to see me until I’ve…cleaned up a bit."

     He nodded, took his horse, Chance, from the stall and prepared him to pull a carriage. She turned and gave Isaac one last glance before hurrying out of the barn.

     When she stepped into the carriage, Jeremy gave her a long look before he shut the door. “I’d love to have you seated behind me on Chance, but someone might see us.”

She felt her face grow hot, but forced her voice to be steady as she gave him directions to Mary’s cottage.

     They flew across the countryside in the early morning mist. When they reached the small hut, he helped her out of the carriage. Her skin tingled where his hands touched her when he lifted her down.

     "Please wait here a moment, Jeremy." She slipped into the cottage and shut the door softly behind her. After a few minutes, she opened the door a crack and tossed his shirt out. He caught it easily, smiled, and put it on slowly. She watched out the window of the cottage until his carriage disappeared around a bend in the road.

******

     Jeremy’s thoughts swirled around like debris in a whirlpool. I need to deal with Isaac. He approached his stables with caution, planning to use the element of surprise to his advantage if Isaac was still inside. He was surprised to hear voices when he approached. Tying Chance to the fence outside the stable, he crept up to the open door.

     A man with a high-pitched voice was speaking. He sounded furious. "You still haven't paid me for changing that woman into a dove, and now you want me to do more magic for you?"

     Jeremy peeked through the crack in the door. That's the wizened little man who was chanting outside the library on the night Alannah disappeared. He’s the one who changed Alannah into a bird for Isaac.

     Isaac touched his black eye and winced. "I need you to destroy Jeremy Moore and give me his lands. Then I can pay you."

     "What? You lied to me! You said that you had money sitting in the bank to pay me!"

     "I was desperate then. You know how much this property is worth. If I get it, then you’re guaranteed payment."

     "You have no intention of paying me. You're planning to string me along forever."

He turned dark and starting glowing red. Pure terror crossed Isaac's face when the little man began chanting. Isaac ran, but a whirlpool of black tar opened up in the floor beneath him and sucked him down with it as it disappeared into the floor. The little man vanished and Jeremy backed away from the door. Is it safe to go in my stable?

     Concern for his horses got the better of him, and he crossed the threshold. Everything seemed normal and solid enough, so he went back, untied Chance, and walked him into the stall. The stable boys will be coming soon to feed, water, and curry my horses.

     As he walked back to his house, relief flooded him. Isaac is gone. He can't hurt Alannah anymore.

******

     Alannah soaked in a large tub of hot water in the middle of Mary's cottage. She'd been thoroughly scrubbed after weeks in the wild as a bird. Mary had gone to fetch a clean dress from her parent's home.

     Alannah had just changed into her dress when a messenger knocked on Mary’s door. He held a sealed letter in his hand. Mary took it and thanked him. She handed it to Alannah, who read it out loud. The message was from Jeremy, and he’d written what happened to Isaac in it. She was relieved, but Mary still had a concern. "We need to come up with a believable story about why you disappeared for six weeks. Discussing magic is not an option."

     Alannah was shocked. "Was I really gone for six weeks?"

     "Yes, dear. People told Jeremy and your parents to give up hope, but they refused. Now—about that story…"

    Alannah thought about what had happened to her. "I barely got enough to eat, was always dirty, and almost never saw anybody while I was a bird. Isaac had me transformed because he didn’t want me to be with anyone else.” She paused. “We could say I was kidnapped by someone I didn’t know. Jeremy searched high and low until he found and rescued me. The kidnapper ran off and we don't expect to see him again."

    “Well, it’s not a great story, but it’ll have to do.”

Although...red heels would be more fun

Where would I ever go in these?

Shopping for black heels

I really need a new pair of black heels, but I can't decide which style is the most versatile. Decisions, decisions...

Alannah excerpt 7

     Jeremy dried his horse, rubbing him down thoroughly. Then he put the horse in a stall with some grain and water. He walked through the stable, checking on the other horses. When he passed by Alannah's hiding place, her breath caught in her throat. It had been so long since she’d seen him up close that painfully strong feelings gripped her when he was near. He stiffened at the soft noise and turned in her direction.

      She froze in place and prayed that he would turn and leave, but he walked directly to the spot where she was hiding instead. When he came around the pile of straw, his dark brown eyes met her aqua ones. Electricity shot through her as she stared at the muscled chest that was clearly visible through his soaked shirt. The expression of shock on Jeremy’s face stabbed at her conscience. "Alannah what, how…?"

     She put a finger to her lips and shook her head. "I cannot explain this. I will disappear again when the weather is calm."

     He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her in a strong embrace. She gasped when his cold, wet shirt soaked the blanket. He let her go and moved back. His eyes turned to the damp spot he’d left. He pulled his wet shirt off and hung it on a hook under the nearby shelf, then turned back to Alannah. "I'll stay with you until the weather changes, then."

    She stared at him. Her eyes lingered on the starburst scar pattern visible across the right side of his chest—a reminder of the battle he'd fought in. He did not appear to notice.

     He grabbed another blanket from the shelf, wrapped himself in it, and sat down next to her in the nest of straw she’d created. “Why won't you tell me what is going on?"

     She shook her head. “I can’t. Tell me about your childhood instead.”

     "I had a wonderful childhood. My parents loved me and taught me to be a gentleman. I never doubted their love for me and I knew they were proud of me. I always tried to honor them by using self-control whether I was at home or away from it." Tears ran down his face, and he hid no emotion from her as he talked about his parent's deaths. "My dear grandfather is the only family I have left in the world."

     As he talked about his experience in the military, he engendered such trust that she relaxed and fell asleep next to him while he was still talking. She woke up hours later as the pain of transforming back into a dove ripped through her body. The folds of the blanket she'd been wrapped in were suffocating her, and she squirmed out of it. Jeremy was curled up next to her, sleeping deeply.

     The first rays of sunshine were crossing the fields. Alannah looked around the stable for an opening large enough to fly through. She was preparing to squeeze through the vents in the roof when the door to the stable creaked open slowly. She flew up to the rafter she’d perched on the night before.

     Isaac stood in the doorway, searching the barn. Malice burned in his eyes. He was muttering to himself. "The servants said he took his horse out last night and didn’t come back to the house. If his horse is here, I'll know they lied to me." His gaze landed on Jeremy’s sleeping form. A vicious smile crossed his face. He grabbed a nearby pitchfork and headed in Jeremy's direction. He's still asleep. Isaac's going to impale him with a pitchfork in his sleep. What a coward!

     She dove down from the rafters, straight into Isaac's face, pecking at him and scratching with her talons. He swatted at her with his free hand but she flew away and circled around his head. He swung the pitchfork clumsily. She easily avoided it. He dropped the pitchfork, picked up a stone, and threw it at her. The stone hit one of her feet with enough force to break her talon, but she ignored the pain and circled again.

     Isaac yelled in frustration as he searched around for another rock. "Stupid bird!"

The sound woke Jeremy, and he jumped up. Alannah dove into Isaac's face again, hoping to distract him and give Jeremy the advantage. This time, Isaac smacked her down to the ground with his hand.

     Jeremy approached Isaac, and he swung a closed fist wildly. Jeremy easily ducked out of the way. Isaac grabbed the fallen pitchfork and ran at him. In his rage, his aim was inaccurate, and Jeremy slapped the pitchfork aside where it stuck into a soft piece of wood. Isaac finally landed a punch and split Jeremy's lip before Jeremy knocked him to the ground. After several strategic blows, Isaac was rendered unconscious.

     Jeremy's safe! Relief washed over Alannah. Breathing was becoming more and more difficult since her breast bone had broken and punctured her lungs when Isaac smacked her into the ground. Her lungs began to fill with blood. I'm going to die.

     She thought of her love for Jeremy and was content that she’d given her life to protect him. He appeared above her, now a giant in her bird eyes. He gently scooped her up and held her to his warm chest. She could feel his heart beating. "I don't understand why you attacked Isaac, but I'm certain you did it on purpose. You saved my life and now you're going to die. Why did you take such a risk for a human?"

Alannah's story excerpt 6

     Alannah had perched in a protected spot on her parents’ carriage and ridden back to Ireland with them. She’d had almost no human contact since there had been little rain after their return. On one rare occasion when there had been a storm, she’d taken shelter at Mary’s cottage. They’d shared a hot meal. After they’d eaten, she turned to Mary. “Do you know what happened after you carried me out of the library that night?”

     An expression of pain crossed Mary’s face. “Yes. Jeremy spent the night searching for you and Isaac. He found neither. When he returned to the library early the next morning, he found your dress on the floor—untouched. He gathered it up and brought it to your parents. What he said was, ‘Lord and Lady Barry, your daughter is missing. She came to see me in the library last night, but Isaac Benson threatened us there with a strange little man. There was a strange flash of red light during the thunderstorm and Alannah disappeared. I chased Isaac but he got away. When I came back, all I could find was this dress. I’m so sorry.’" A single tear escaped Mary’s eye and she wiped it away. “Your parents took your dress from him. They were in shock. Before long, the entire house was buzzing with the news of your disappearance, and everyone went home with gossip about it still on their lips.

     “In his heart, Isaac blames Jeremy for the whole incident, and wants revenge against him. You were the most exquisite female of the season, and a prize he wanted for his own. Now you’re lost to him, and he’s become irrationally angry. He did not love you, for he’s incapable of love, but his lust for greed and power has driven him to try and destroy Sir Jeremy Moore. You must watch out for him, Alannah.”

     It had been weeks since she’d visited Mary, and she’d lost track of how much time had passed since she was turned into a dove. She flew out on a warm, beautiful morning to look over Jeremy's farms and lands. Skimming over the tops of the trees, she looked down on the landscape beneath her. She’d taken Mary’s words to heart and spent most of her time watching over Jeremy. He was a true gentleman who oversaw the tenant farms that made up a large portion of his property. Many times, she saw him helping a tenant pull a plow out of the mud, or harvest a field of hay.

     Although his home in London was beautiful, he spent most of his time at his estate near her parent’s home. He must love the land and people here. As a dove, she learned a great deal about Jeremy. He was born into the gentry and chose to serve in the military. He’d worked alongside the other enlisted men rather than taking his guaranteed place among the officers. He'd fought like a lion during his last battle, before sustaining a serious chest injury which left him unconscious for several days. When he woke up, he was at home convalescing and had earned the title of knight for his bravery.

    On that same military campaign, his parents had contracted typhoid fever and died while he was away from home fighting. His paternal grandfather was his only living relative, but had suffered a brain injury and could no longer speak, write, or walk. Jeremy was left to manage his family's holdings, even though his grandfather technically owned everything.

     Alannah surveyed the well-maintained farms with beautiful forests, ponds, and rolling hills. Contentment settled over her, despite the curse that had stolen her future plans and dreams. A sudden gust of wind surprised her, and she had to strain against it to avoid being blown out of the sky. Checking the horizon to the east, she saw dark clouds moving toward her at an alarming speed. She’d forgotten to pay attention to the weather while she had been lost in her thoughts about Jeremy.

     The wind pushed her faster than she wanted to go and she ended up being blown onto Jeremy’s estate. I have to get out of the sky before I fall out of it. I'm nowhere near any of my safe shelters from storms. She frantically scanned the grounds surrounding the estate, looking for a place where she could hide from the storm. Why didn't I stay close to Mary's cottage? No one must see me when I transform.

     Her gaze landed on his fine stables in the east pasture. They were made of stone and heavy wooden timbers with doors that shut and latched securely. She headed for them, flying with all her strength. The stable boys were bringing in the last horses as Alannah, the beautiful white dove, glided in unnoticed through the open doors and landed silently on a rafter high above them. The sky darkened outside and the distant sound of thunder came rolling through the air. Panic surged through her. Please leave before I transform! The boys secured the horses in their stalls, and hurried out of the stable, shutting and latching the doors behind them. I need a better place to hide. I can't transform up here.

     There was a large pile of fresh straw next to a bin filled with sacks of oats. On a shelf above the oats, there was a stack of neatly folded horse blankets. Relief flooded her tiny bird body as she glided from the rafter to the space behind the straw pile. Just as she was landing, a flash of lightening followed by a deafening crash of thunder startled her and the horses. The rain came pouring down, and the painful transformation from white dove to human female overtook her.

     Minutes later she lay on the floor, panting from the exertion of her forced change. She stood up as soon as she could, and grabbed one of the folded blankets to wrap around herself. She settled between the pile of straw and the back wall of the stable, hoping no one would notice her if they came to check on the horses.

     Alannah’s time as a bird did not affect her human beauty. Her delicate features, long ash-blond hair, and stunning blue-green eyes made it difficult for her blend in with her surroundings.  I wish I was inside Mary's warm cottage with a hot bowl of soup. I feel so foolish. Eventually her mind drifted to the life that used to be hers.

    She was startled out of her memories as the stable doors were thrown open. The wind rushed through the barn, chilling Alannah and stirring up bits of hay and straw. Jeremy strode in, leading his horse along behind him. They were both soaked through. He must have been caught in the sudden storm, too.

Alannah's beloved Irish countryside

Alannah's story excerpt 5

     Alannah bade her parents goodnight, and walked into her room. She told Mary about her plan to sneak out and see Jeremy. She was willing to help Alannah get to the library unnoticed, but there was concern in her eyes. "Something feels wrong, Miss Alannah. Sir Jeremy won’t do anything to hurt you, but something else might harm you."

     "When did you become a seer and begin predicting the future, Mary?"

     "The women in my family have certain seer abilities that have been passed down from generation to generation. Do not take my warning lightly."

     Alannah felt disappointment weigh her down. "Then shall I stay here in my room tonight?"

     Mary closed her eyes for several minutes. "No, you must keep your promise and visit Sir Jeremy in order for him to trust you. If he trusts you, then he will come to love you. Tonight is important, even if it is dangerous."

     Alannah crept down several dark hallways in a circuitous route to the library, with Mary guiding her. It was odd that she seemed to know her way around this house where she was as much a stranger as Alannah was. Strangely, no one seemed to notice them. She was beginning to believe Mary worked some kind of magic after all.

     Mary stayed outside the library while Alannah slipped inside the dark room. She stood for a few minutes, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness until she could discern walls lined with books and several couches situated in front of a fireplace. Someone was asleep on the longest couch and she crept forward to see who it was. Unruly dark hair fell over Jeremy's face and he had a sweet, peaceful expression.

     Alannah smiled down at him. Should I wake him up? Her head snapped up when she heard a grunt and footsteps retreating from the library door. Who was that?

     The storm clouds that had been gathering all day unleashed their fury, and rain began to beat against the house. A bright flash of lightening lit the room, followed by a deafening clap of thunder. Jeremy woke with a start and sat up. As he became aware of the room around him, he noticed Alannah standing in front of him. He stood up quickly and took her hands in his. "You came."

     "I did."

     "You took a risk to be with me. That means more than you’ll ever know."

He wrapped his arms around her in a sweet embrace.

     Suddenly, the doors of the library were flung open and an irate Isaac stood there, glaring at the two of them in each other's arms. His bloodshot eyes and flushed face told her he’d been drinking with the other men downstairs. He won’t be calm or reasonable. Alannah could just see Mary behind him, hidden in the shadows, fearfully watching.

     The ominous look on his face was scary. "If I can't have you, no one will!"

     He moved aside as a short, wizened little man stepped out of the shadows and looked about shrewdly.

     Isaac commanded, "Do it!"

     The dwarfish man's countenance turned dark, and a barely perceptible red glow surrounded him as he began chanting. Jeremy pulled away from Alannah and jumped over the couch to tackle the little man, but he finished speaking just before Jeremy reached him. Red light flew out of his palm toward her as a brilliant flash of lightening overexposed the room once again. Just before the red light reached her, Alannah saw Mary chanting to herself with her eyes closed. A painful burning sensation coursed through her when the curse hit her.

     When the burning was done, she opened her eyes. Large folds of cloth surrounded her.  She tried to push it down and out of her way so she could get a better view, but her hands did not seem to be working. Looking down, she saw white feathers and delicate bird talons where her body used to be. Mary's face appeared above her, and she wanted to scream. When had Mary turned into a giant?

     Mary scooped her up in monstrous hands, and carried her away from the library. Jeremy was calling her name and asking where she was. She saw Isaac running down the hallway in the opposite direction. The little man had disappeared, and people were coming out of their rooms to see what the commotion was all about.

     Back in her room, Mary held Alannah up in front of the looking glass. She saw Mary's reflection and in her hands was a beautiful white dove. She blinked, and the dove blinked. She raised her arms and the dove spread its wings. I’m a bird? She collapsed in Mary's cupped palms wanting to cry, but no tears would come. Perhaps doves cannot cry. Mary sat down on the bed and held Alannah in her lap.

     "I tried to counteract the curse, Miss Alannah, but his dark magic was too powerful. The best I could do was make your bird form dependent on the weather. But, I was limited to the weather that existed when I performed the spell. Fate frowned upon us. You will be a bird when the weather is good and only have your human form during rainstorms."

     Alannah hopped up and down to show she understood.

     "Isaac knows you are a dove, and I wish that meant he was no longer keeping track of you. Since he knows there is a possibility the curse can be broken, he may still try and destroy you.” She clenched her fists. “It’s truly unfair. In human form, you are not allowed to speak about the curse to anyone who doesn't already know. This makes it nearly impossible for other people to help you break the curse.” She paused and a look of determination crossed her face. “I will find a way to break it. Don't despair."

     She tucked Alannah into the pocket of her apron and looked through her bags. “I have some books of lore in here somewhere.” Alannah fell asleep. When she woke up in the morning, she sat in the middle of a large pillow. She looked down to see snowy-white feathers and despair filled her. Mary was sitting in a chair, reading a thick book of lore. The dark circles under her eyes showed she had not slept the night before.

     After a few minutes, Mary muttered to herself, "That's our only hope." She looked up from her book. "Alannah, nod if you can understand me."

     Alannah nodded, although it was awkward in a dove's body.

"Very good. I don't have much time to speak with you. I sense that Isaac will come after you soon. You must fly away to save yourself. Do not worry—you will know how to fly and what to eat by instinct. Whenever there is a thunderstorm, you will transform back into a human, so you must find shelter or you will fall out of the sky as a naked human female. The safest place will be my cottage, but there may not always be time for that. If you can’t get to my cottage, you need to have several safe shelters where you can wait out the storm. Never explain the curse to another person, or it can never be broken. I will always do what I can to help you.” A tear escaped from Mary’s eye and ran down her cheek.

     “My books of lore say the only way for you to break this curse is to sacrifice yourself while protecting the man you love. There is no guarantee that you won’t die in the process, but it’s your only chance to become human permanently. The only people who know what happened to you are Issac and me.” Heavy footsteps sounded in the hall outside. Mary looked up in alarm. “Go, Alannah. Fly away! He’s coming!"

     She threw open the window and set Alannah on the ledge. Spreading her wings, Alannah let her bird instinct take over and soared into the sky.

     Isaac crashed through the door to Alannah's room, to find Mary shaking the bedding out the open window. "Where's Alannah?"

     Mary looked convincingly ignorant. "I don't know, sir. She never came back to her room last night, and I thought she found another place to sleep."

     Isaac assumed all servants were too stupid to be cunning and believed that Mary was as ignorant as she professed to be. He left the room without another word, and went to find out what the other people in the house knew about Alannah.

Alannah's story excerpt 4

     The dance ended and he held out his arm. She wrapped her hand around it, and he led her out through the open French doors. She let out a sigh of relief when the cool night air enveloped them. Jeremy smiled at her. "You look very beautiful."

     "Thank you. You do too, look good—I mean handsome."

     Jeremy laughed. "Will you please tell me why you were at my house?"

     "I thought you said that you knew."

     "I said that I thought I knew, but I want to hear it from you."

     Alannah answered honestly. She was not interested in playing games. "I wanted to know what kind of man you are. My mother had just reminded me that she and my father were planning for us to marry. She told me that I didn't have to marry you if I was certain you would make me miserable. I know they love me and picked a man who they believed to be good, but I knew it was possible that they had been deceived."

     "And what kind of man am I?" His voice revealed curiosity and nothing else.

     "You're kind and respectful to your grandfather when you don't have to be. You could ignore him and do whatever you want to, and nobody would be the wiser. Your horses love you because you're a gentle master, and you're more than fair with your tenants, and…" her voice trailed off at this point.

     "What else?" His voice was soft.

     "You want to marry someone who truly loves you, but you don't know how to tell whether she’s marrying you for your money or because she’s fallen in love with you."

     "It would seem that marrying for money also disagrees with you, Alannah. You were willing to risk your reputation by riding to a stranger's estate at night, all alone, just to find out what kind of a man he is." Jeremy reached out to brush away a stray lock of hair that had blown into her eyes. He wasn't giving her any obvious clues about how he felt, yet she felt that strange heat-filled tension building between them again. Suddenly a voice cut through the shadows.

     "Ah, there you are, Alannah. Come dance with me. It's the last dance of the night." Isaac stood beside her with his hand out.

     She gave Jeremy an apologetic look. He nodded at her, giving her permission to leave with Isaac. In the ballroom, Isaac gripped her arm tightly and looked around triumphantly as if he’d won some kind of victory. Anger rose inside her when he treated her like a possession, and she struggled to stay poised and calm.

     When the dance was over, Isaac held onto her arm and continued to talk to her. There was no graceful way to excuse herself and leave. Eventually, her parents came to her rescue from one side as Jeremy approached from the other direction. He hung back and watched to make sure she left safely with them. They went upstairs to the rooms they’d been assigned to sleep in that night.

     Her bedroom was next to her parents’ and her maidservant was waiting inside. Mary helped Alannah prepare for bed, and she was asleep almost before her head hit the pillow. Most of the other guests continued to socialize late into the night.

     Alannah woke early in the morning while the rest of the house was quiet. Mary had a tray of toast and tea ready. Her new day dress was set out. Mary smiled at her cheerily.

     “Good morning, Miss Alannah." She brought the breakfast tray over. "Did you enjoy the dance last night?"

     Alannah could tell she was bursting with curiosity, so she told her everything that’d happened.

Mary had a sly smile on her face. "So do you like Sir Jeremy?"

     "I do like him very much. I just don't know how he feels about me." Alannah felt her heart clench.

     "All will turn out as it should, even if there are some rough patches along the way." Mary spoke confidently as she took away the tray. Then, she helped Alannah change into her dress and put her hair up. "A morning walk will do you a world of good, Miss Alannah."

     "What a good idea! Thank you, Mary." She slipped down the stairs and through a side passage. It was still quiet, so she assumed most of the other guests were sleeping in. Hurrying out a side door into the rose garden, she ran straight into a very solid, tall, and handsome man.

     "Oh, Jeremy, please excuse me. I didn't expect anyone else to be awake."

A broad smile lit up his face. "Good morning to you, as well. Would you like to walk with me?"

     She nodded. They ambled through the rose garden and past a hedge toward some weeping willow trees and a small pond, talking as they traveled. I hope he really wants to spend time with me, and isn't just doing this because no one else is awake. They eventually wandered back to the house, where a game of croquet was being organized.

     Isaac spotted Alannah right away, and cast a scowl at Jeremy before he pulled her away. He monopolized her as much as possible all day, and was by her side through the picnic by the lake and the boating activity. She had a moment to herself when Isaac ran off to threaten someone else who’d been talking to her.

     Jeremy approached her. "Do you want me to tell Isaac to leave you alone?"

     She smiled gratefully. "I know you could get him to leave me alone, but he won't go away quietly, and I don't want a scene."

     "I'm not just offering out of the goodness of my heart. I'd like to spend more time with you."

     Her hopes soared. "You would?"

     "Yes. Can we arrange to meet somewhere later?"

     "Where could we go after my parents rescue me tonight and 'send me to bed'?"

     "Meet me in the library. It's quiet, and people don't usually go there during parties."

     "Alright. I'll plan on it."

     Jeremy smiled and she reluctantly returned to the group. Isaac had been searching for her, and stayed even closer during the ostentatious dinner and parlor games that evening. Alannah had grown very tired of his company when her parents finally rescued her and took her upstairs to bed.

A little peaceful meditation

Candlelight and silence...Ahhh. Time to regroup.

Alannah's story excerpt 3

     In her room, Alannah changed into her nightgown, brushed her hair, and thought of Jeremy. Her heart sank as she remembered what he’d told his grandfather. He’ll probably reject me, figuring I’m marrying him for his money, when he finds out I’m Alannah Barry, his pre-arranged wife. For the first time, she gave serious thought to her future marriage, and for the first time, she realized it might not happen as her loving parents had planned.

     Before she felt ready, it was time for her first formal social occasion. The bumpy trip in a carriage to their London home did nothing to calm her nerves. The servants had left several ornate invitations sitting on the hall table just inside the front doors. Her mother scooped them up on her way into the house. She pulled Alannah into the parlor with her as the domestics carried in luggage. They sank down onto the couch and breathed a sigh of relief. Her mother’s voice pulled her from the comfortable drowsy state she’d slipped into.

     “Alannah, dear, in less than a week Lord and Lady Adams are hosting a weekend retreat at their mansion. It will begin with a ball. You’ll be introduced that night. We must prepare your clothing.” Her mother pushed herself up and walked back into the hall, murmuring about appointments with the tailor, the cobbler, and the hairdresser.

     “And then Jeremy will know who I am,” she whispered to herself. Her stomach clenched at the thought, but she was determined to make a good impression and honor her parents anyway.

     She stood as still as a china doll while her mother appraised her critically. They’d spent all week preparing for this night. Finally, her mother nodded, and turned away. Alannah frowned and rolled her eyes. A doll would be far more comfortable than I am right now. Her hair was beautifully arranged, and her dress fit well. Its color matched her eyes perfectly. Her training in walking and standing gracefully had paid off; she appeared to be moving easily in her dress, even though it threatened to squeeze the breath out of her like a python.

     When they arrived at the Adam’s estate, her stomach was tied in knots. Somehow, she managed to follow her parents inside, although she couldn’t seem to feel her legs or feet anymore. Suddenly, she was standing at the front of the ballroom, and all eyes turned to look at her as her name was announced. She quickly searched the sea of faces, trying to find the dark brown eyes and black hair she’d been seeing in her dreams. She smiled and curtsied as she’d been taught, lowering her eyes for an instant as she completed her curtsy. Straightening, she raised them once again to search the room.

     Just as she was about to walk away from her position in the center of attention, she recognized Jeremy standing by the French doors that opened onto the lawns. Time seemed to stop and he held her gaze, while a mixture of surprise and contemplation danced in his eyes. After an almost imperceptible nod from him, time caught up with her. She moved out of the limelight to join her parents.

     After a few introductions, the dancing began. Alannah was surprised to find that so many young men wanted to dance with her. The evening wore on, and the ball was nearly over, but she hadn’t spoken to or danced with Jeremy yet. Sir Isaac Benson had danced with her three times by rudely pushing other young men out of the way. His black hair and icy blue eyes would have been quite striking if he didn't have such cruelty behind those eyes. He was rough with her when they danced, and scowled at her other partners when she wasn’t with him.

     Jeremy danced throughout the evening with many willing partners and appeared to be enjoying himself. A lump formed in her throat and she forced herself not to show her disappointment. I suppose I can't blame him for avoiding me. I made a bad impression when he caught me spying on him.

          When Alannah noticed Jeremy speaking with her parents, she excused herself to go join them. I must speak with Jeremy and find out how he feels about me, now that he knows who I am. He smiled when he saw her walking over. She greeted her parents and allowed them to introduce her to Sir Jeremy Moore. Then they artfully disappeared, leaving Jeremy and Alannah alone.

     "Would you do me the honor of a dance, Alannah Barry?"

     "It would be my pleasure, Sir Jeremy Moore."

     He escorted her onto the dance floor. "So you are the woman my parents chose for me before they died."

     "And you are the man my parents chose for me."

     "I think I know why you were at my house a few weeks ago."

     "Do you?"

     Her voice was quiet as she searched his eyes for some kind of hint about what he was thinking. She could not read him, and for all she knew he was mocking her. They danced together in silence for the rest of the song, but it was not awkward. Alannah found it almost effortless to stay in synch with him—she seemed to sense him taking each step before he actually did. Thoughts swirled around in her head, like blackbirds circling a large pine tree. I still don't know what he thinks about me, but I feel strange when I'm with him—like there's a heat wave rippling around us. I don't know what it means. Am I crazy or does he feel it too?

Mysterious hallways

Wandering down a mysterious hallway is often the stuff that good stories are made of....

Paths

The poet Robert Frost wrote about paths that diverged in a yellow wood. Sometimes wandering down a path is good for the body and soul...

Outdoor stairs

Have you ever wandered up a set of stairs, just to see where they go?

Sometimes they seem to beckon you...

Secret room

Do you ever wish you had a secret place you could go?

Excerpt 2 from Alannah's story

     Alannah left her mother's sitting room determined to spend her free time finding out more about Sir Jeremy Moore. She knew her mother loved her deeply. If my mother believes Jeremy is worthy of me, then he’s probably a very good man. I just need to make sure my parents haven’t been deceived. I’m allowed to reject him is I discover that he’d make me miserable.

     He was home at his country estate for the next few months, and she planned to spy on him again. Jeremy will be on his best behavior at the social occasions in London where we’re supposed to meet. That simply won’t tell me what I want to know about him.

     It was a quiet evening, and Alannah had some time to herself. She took her horse and rode to Jeremy's estate. After tying her horse in the secluded woods at the edge of his property, she realized darkness was creeping over the woods. I’m taking such a foolish risk, but I can’t help myself.

     She crept over to the same window on the ground floor where light was again spilling out onto the shadowed lawn. Jeremy’s grandfather sat up in his bed, facing the window. Jeremy sat on the edge of the bed with his back to her, helping the older man drink a cup of tea. His gentleness while wiping away tea that spilled down the older man's face made her heart swell. When the tea was gone, Jeremy set the cup on the tray next to the bed.

     "Grandfather, I collected the quarterly rent from your tenants over the last week. They have all done well; it’s been a good growing season. I decreased their rent to the more reasonable amount you wanted."

     His grandfather smiled widely at this.

     Jeremy went on to talk about the tenant's families. His grandfather didn’t seem to be able to speak. It seemed that Jeremy had learned to ask more questions or move on in the conversation based on looks of approval or disapproval that crossed his grandfather's face. He’s become very skilled at figuring out what his grandfather wants. His deep respect and love for the older gentleman was obvious to her as his grandfather taught kindness and good management to him.

     She crept away from the window, an unexpected feeling of happiness rising inside her. This time she was very cautious, and was not discovered sneaking around the Moore property.

     Over the next week, it was a struggle for her to sneak away and watch Jeremy, but she managed it several times. She observed him and the gentle way he treated his horses. She saw him forgive a debt that a desperate man could never repay. He's a good person. What will he think of me when he finds out who I am?

Beginning excerpt from my fairytale about Alannah Barry

         Alannah Barry was the oldest daughter of the Earl of Wortshire, Lord Barry. She led a full and busy life. Her father was Irish, and her mother was English. Their marriage had been a bit of a scandal in the beginning, since people thought they were unsuited for each other, but things had smoothed over as time passed. They were now well-respected members of society.

     Her parents indulged her insatiable desire for education and learning. She was taught by many fine tutors over the years. In addition to her book lessons, she learned to ride horses, sew clothing, cook, and even grow plants in the garden. She often sought practical knowledge from the servants employed at her parents' estate. She tolerated her lessons on appropriate table manners, dancing skills, and other social etiquette required of those born into the gentry.

     Alannah vaguely remembered that she’d been told of her arranged marriage. It had not been important to her at the time and she’d let it slip from her mind until her mother brought it up a few days ago. She wandered down the hall to her mother’s sitting room, lost in thought.

     “Ah, there you are, Alannah, dear. We spoke of your arranged marriage a few days ago. However, I require that you participate in all the social events of the season. You must socialize with other young men so you can be absolutely sure about this decision. We will travel to our London home for the season, and while we are there you may entertain any young men who come to call. If for some reason and it must be a very good reason, you feel that you would be truly unhappy with Sir Jeremy, you may choose someone else.”

     Gratitude and relief flooded over her. She wouldn’t have to marry Jeremy Moore if he was despicable.

     “I have made arrangements for your tutor to review your etiquette, dancing, and table manners in preparation for your social debut. New dresses will be made for you with longer skirts and you will be required to wear your hair up.”

     "Yes, mother."

     “The real work begins next week."
     Several weeks went by with dress fittings, dance practice, and classes about dining etiquette. Alannah’s mind kept wandering to Jeremy while she endured the tedium of her new routine. He must have some kind of flaw and I am determined to find it.

    She stole out of the house one evening, when everyone else thought she was settled in her room for the night. Grabbing her horse’s reigns, she walked him out to the road behind the stables before mounting him. She rode away, quickly regretting the fact that she hadn’t changed into more comfortable clothing. The fine dress she’d worn to dinner was binding and made it hard to breathe. When she reached a secluded spot near Jeremy’s estate, she tied up her horse. Silently, she crept over to a ground floor window that was spilling warm yellow light onto the lawns outside. Jeremy was inside the room, pacing back and forth in an animated way. A frail, white-haired old man sat in the large bed sitting against the far wall.

     “Grandfather, I have no interest in marriage right now. I know my parents wanted me to marry this Alannah, and I have nothing against her; I hate the social events in London and the false impressions people create there. Can't I wait until a few more seasons have passed? I want the girl I marry to love me—not my lands and money. The social events of the season are not going to tell me that.”

     His grandfather's look of disapproval was obvious. Jeremy stopped pacing, his back to her. While he stood motionless, she had to stifle a giggle as she imagined the pitiful, pleading look on his face. His grandfather's stern expression remained firmly planted on his face. Finally, Jeremy sighed and his shoulders drooped.

     “Very well, Grandfather. I will attend the social events this season, and make sure to pay a visit to Alannah Barry. I can't promise anything more than that.”

     His grandfather smiled, and Jeremy walked over to grasp the old man's wrinkled right hand in both of his young strong ones. A mixture of surprise and hurt filled Alannah. I didn't expect Jeremy to be uninterested in marriage because he thinks all girls are gold diggers. I’m hurt that he doesn't want to court me, but I’m glad he’s looking for true love. Perhaps his cynical attitude is the flaw I've been looking for.

     She slipped away from the window. Her thoughts were on Jeremy as she moved toward her horse, and she forgot to hide in the shadows that crossed his lawn. Quickening footsteps from behind startled her. She broke into a run, desperate to leave his property undiscovered. Just when she approached her horse, strong arms wrapped themselves around her, stopping her forward motion. “Please let me go. I'm very sorry for trespassing here. I meant no harm.” Which servant has caught me?

     She was set upon her feet gently and released. She turned to face the person who had stopped her, and found herself looking into the dark eyes of none other than Sir Jeremy Moore. He did not look angry, but merely curious. “What were you doing here, m'lady?”

   Alannah was not a practiced liar. It disagreed with her as much as rotten food disagrees with most people. She chose to tell the truth. “I came to find out what kind of man you are when you don't think anyone is watching you.”

     “What?” His tone was incredulous.

     “I know it's not polite and I'm sorry, but I had a very good reason for wanting to know, sir.”

     “What would that reason be?”

     “Please don't make me explain that now.”

     “Will you tell me what your name is?”

    “I'd rather not tell you that right now.”

    “Why not?” A look of frustration crossed his face.

     “Because, if you know my name, it might change your feelings about me.”

     “To be honest, you're making a rather strange impression right now.” There was amusement in his voice.

     “That may be true, sir, but I'm enjoying talking to you without trying to make any first impressions because of who I am.”

     A look of surprise crossed his face, but he continued to converse with Alannah and ask her questions. She could tell he was hoping she’d reveal something that would identify her. The clouds that had been half-concealing the moon drifted away and a bright shaft of moonlight shown down on the spot where Alannah stood. Her blond hair shimmered brightly where it had tumbled down past her shoulders when she'd run to her horse earlier. His breath caught in his throat as her face was illuminated and he saw her blue-green eyes for the first time. She was a beautiful young woman and her fine dress fit her well.

     “I must know your name.”

     “You will find out—if you come to the social events in London. I am required to attend them this season.”

     “I shall attend the events of the season, though I detest them, so that you can keep your promise and tell me who you are. Perhaps you'll even explain why you were spying on me tonight.” A hint of a smile played around the corners of his mouth.

     Alannah’s face burned at his teasing words. She stared at him. He’s a fine-looking man. His deep brown eyes had black hair falling into them and she forced herself to resist an urge to brush the unruly locks away. She tried to discern the thoughts going on behind his eyes, but couldn’t figure out what was going on in his head as he returned her gaze. The silence between them grew intense.

     Alannah took a deep breath. “I must go now, but we will meet again.”

My favourite quote

"'Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all."

-Alfred Lord Tennyson

Angelina Jolie's Tomb Raider

Watching "Tomb Raider" is one of my guilty pleasures. My goal this year is to get to the gym and earn a body like that. I'm posting some 'tomb raider' boots--they need lug soles so a girl can run in them. Maybe I'll buy myself a pair if I look good enough for a tomb raider costume when Halloween comes around.

For romantics-A short story by Elle Fredrix

He’d expected this.  He’d even hoped for it.  But he still felt a twinge of — pity.  She’d been stood up.  Again.  Here she sat, alone in an upscale restaurant, dressed in her favourite little black dress.

Kevin watched her reflection in a mirror and saw the sigh that gusted out of Catherine’s mouth and ruffled her hair as she sat back in her chair, closing her eyes.

It was time to make his move.

Before she became aware of his presence behind her, he cupped the back of her neck, his thumb caressing her just under her left ear.  He felt her pulse leap, saw a smile burst across her face as she turned to look back over her shoulder.  Kevin stepped up beside her and watched as her smile died.

Yanking herself away from his touch, she frowned at him.  “What’re you doing here?”

Kevin just gave her a long-suffering look.  Then, jerking his head, he said, “Come on.  Let’s go.”

Catherine hunched a shoulder and turned her head away.  “Get lost.  I don’t need you to rescue me.”

He glanced at the two empty water bottles sitting before her and pulled a bill out of his wallet to leave on the table.  Then he stood there for a moment, gazing at the top of her head, his mind juggling the usual spank her or kiss her debate.  Under his breath, he said, “Yes, you do.  And this time I’m going to do it right.”

In one way or another, he’d been rescuing her since they were kids, and she’d always resented it.  Whether as a pre-pubescent tomboy, or the swan she’d evolved into, she’d been diving headfirst into catastrophes and he’d been reeling her out.  And though until just recently — he hoped — she’d viewed him as nothing more than a bothersome big brother, he’d never considered her a sister.

Kevin’s problem was that every time he’d tried to tell her how he felt, he’d muck it up, the result being she’d never believed him.

He reached down and started to pull her chair out from the table, the muscles of his arm flexing.

She didn’t surprise him.  True to form, Catherine was stubborn and tried to dig her feet in, but after a brief struggle she must have realized it was pointless.  With a sigh, she let him help her up and followed him out of the restaurant.  They walked for a block without speaking, but he had no problem reading her thoughts.  She had an expressive face, and he’d been translating it for years.

Before long he was unlocking the passenger door of his car.  “Come on.  Get in.”

She pulled away from him, then turned and lifted her head and looked into his eyes, still not saying anything.

Kevin felt his lips twitch.  “What?  Still mad at me?”

She settled her butt back against the side of his car and shook her head, a sad look on her face.  “I’m not mad at you.  I’m mad at Mark.  Mad at myself — or at least disgusted with myself.”  His heart clenched as tears began to roll down her face.  “What’s wrong with me, Kevin?  Why is it so hard for me to find someone who will care about me once in a while, instead of thinking only of himself?  Someone who can remember which night of the week is my night, and which night is the night with the guys.”

Taking a step forward, she settled herself against his body, her arms around his waist, the side of her face resting on his throat.  His chin came down, and using it, he gently rubbed the top of her head while his arms surrounded her in a gesture of comfort and protection.  Their movements were fluid and natural, as if they’d stood like this many times before.  They had.

Catherine mumbled into the bare flesh beneath her mouth, “If you crack a joke, or make fun of me, I swear I’ll bite you.”

Kevin cupped the back of her head, pulled back, and dropped a kiss on her forehead.  “It wouldn’t be the first time, would it?  All right, no jokes, no making fun.  Come on.  Get in the car.  Everything will be okay.  I promise.”

Frowning up at him,  Catherine said,  “I have my own car here.”

Lightly squeezing her head, he said, “Kitty Cat, I told you to get in the car.  Now get in!”

Wrenching herself out of his hands, nearly hissing like the cat he’d just called her, she said, “Don’t call me that!  And how many times have I told you, you are not the boss of me!”

Grinning, he replied, “I’ve lost count.  But I do remember that you were six years old the first time you said it.”

Grumbling, crossing her arms over her chest and staying her ground, she said, “For all the good it’s done me.”

Exasperated, Kevin said, “Fine, I didn’t want to do this here, but you leave me no choice.”  With that, he pushed her back against the car, using the weight of his pelvis to hold her there, knowing he had to make her understand the extent of his feelings.  With a deep breath, he said, “You’ve been a part of my life since you were six, and I was eight.  So I can speak with authority and say there is nothing wrong with you, Cat.”  He paused.  “I wanted to drive you to the park near where we lived when we were kids.  I was fourteen years old the first time I told you I wanted to marry you, and that’s where we were.  Since then I’ve told you four times.  And each time, it was in that park.”

He felt her gasp and heard the wobble in her voice as she said, “I told you no jokes.  You’re making fun of me again.”

Kevin leaned his forehead on hers.  “Sweetheart, it’s never been a joke.  But the way I feel about you scares me, so every time I tried to tell you I deliberately made it sound like I was teasing.  But I was serious, even when I was fourteen.  Every time, I was standing there with my heart in my palms, offering it to you.”

Catherine put her hands on his chest and pushed him away, looking up into his face.  “What are you saying?”

He swallowed around his heart, which had taken up lodging in his throat.  “I guess I still haven’t said it, have I?  I love you, Cat.  I want you to be my wife.  And lately I’ve been thinking that, just maybe, you love me too.”

She punched him on the shoulder and then yelled in his face.  “You moron!  Of course I love you.  Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

Laughing, Kevin grabbed her fist, and then pulled her tightly to him.  Lowering his mouth to hers, he said, “I’ve been asking you to marry me since I was fourteen!  What more do you want?”

The End